I wrote this a couple of years ago on my personal and now half-dead blog, but AdRants brought the memories back with its post about trademarked sentences poetry generator. So, here.
Due to the nature of their business, advertisers view their campaigns one at a time, with little regard for how their production will be weaved into the cultural landscape once the ads hit the tube (this is not to say that copywriters don't rely on the landscape to produce the ads in the first place). The perception on the other side of the fence is rarely that fragmented. The corporate utterances pile onto each other, and not unlike the Poem of the Masses, they evolve into complex layered monologues that acquire new and perhaps unintended meanings.
Many slogans come out as pre-canned poems already (Relax, it's FedEx), but others, too, have these magic characteristics, largely unrecognized, that unlock new poetic narratives when put together. Think of it as a conspiracy of a fridge poetry variety. An exclusive Corporate Poets Society, that's what it is.
What follows is an attempt to put some of the pieces together. All verses except the very last batch are made entirely of corporate slogans. Many are quite famous, but if some of them don't seem familiar, consult the TagLine Guru and a Slogan Database. And if you find the poetry crappy, don't blame the messenger.
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Where do you want to go today?
Obey your thirst. Have it your way.
Reach out, think outside the bun.
Just do it. Prepare to own one.
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Expect more, pay less,
Tastes great, less filling.
Flick my Bic, experience success.
Got milk? Go get the feeling.
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Let your fingers do the Dew,
Invent the ultimate driving machine.
You are due, definitely due.
Think, but please don’t squeeze the Charmin.
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Think different. Think small.
I can't believe it's not butter.
Mama mia, thatsa spicy meatball!
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Friends don’t let friends
melt in your mouth,
not in your hands.
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What happens here, stays here.
Some of our best men
are women -
no fear.
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The quicker picker-upper
takes a licking
and keeps on ticking -
my wife. I think I’ll keep her.
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More casino - more fun,
Ask the man who owns one.
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Live richly. Have a coke and smile.
When you’ve got it,
flaunt it.
Be yourself for a while.
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A diamond is not
just for breakfast
anymore. Hot.
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We try harder. Nothing comes
between me and my Calvins.
Fun anyone?
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Wassup?! Can you hear?
Me? Now? In your mirror
the objects are closer
than they appear.
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Finger-lickin' good connecting people
think outside the box, share moments, share life,
never follow, eat fresh,
look sharp, feel sharp, think different,
invent the way to fly.
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I’d walk a mile for a camel
And put a tiger in your tank.
I really enjoy my flannel
And also love a hearty spank.
